I Hurt Inside, I am scared

I look into my mirror
I try so hard to see the real me
I bury my reality
in my cloak
in my sexuality

Right now I am so afraid
again I cry myself to sleep
I am truly lost
perhaps too late to wonder
the dirt packs my grave
my tears have made my mud
a concrete prison
sealing my every dream
my every hope
my every prayer
muffling my cries
beneath this crushing layer

I know what it feels like to be alone
I know true lonliness
I am so sad tonight
too weak to fight
yet here I lie
but I cannot die

Struggling to find a reason
to find my self
please God
I pray tonight
give me the strength to fight
If it weren't for the few friends I know
I would lie breathless
here below. . .

By a very sad Amber Vinci

Behind Myself

I look out into the world from inside
behind myself
hiding inside
a dark window conceals me
yet all know only what they see
not the real me
being what I'm supposed to be
I wish sometimes I were someone else
a girl who's friends know well
being loved for who they are
and never leaving
Trapped in these evil jaws
I struggle but not forever
because I will always be
the same in my secret sadness
hiding behind who I am
where endless tears flow
the only place I know
inside myself
I wish you could see
what it's really like
to live inside as me. . .

By Amber Vinci